Sharing is not instinctive for young children. From a developmental standpoint, toddlers and preschoolers are still learning that other people have thoughts, preferences, and feelings separate from their own. When a child grabs a toy, refuses to give up a turn, or melts down during play, it is usually not defiance — it is a lagging skill.
For children with speech and language delays, autism, ADHD, or sensory differences, sharing can feel especially complex. They may struggle to interpret social cues, negotiate verbally, or tolerate waiting.
This is where a social script or structured social narrative becomes a powerful teaching tool.
Why Sharing Is Hard
Sharing requires multiple underlying skills:
- Impulse control
- Emotional regulation
- Flexible thinking
- Perspective-taking
- Language for negotiation (“Can I have a turn next?”)
- Trust that a turn will come back
Children may resist sharing because they:
- Feel strong ownership over preferred items
- Fear they will not get the toy back
- Lack the words to request a turn
- Feel overwhelmed in group settings
- Have had negative peer experiences
A social narrative helps slow down these fast emotional moments and make the “hidden rules” of sharing clear and predictable.
Sample Social Script: “We Can Take Turns”
Below is a developmentally appropriate social script you can personalize:
My Turn and Your Turn
Sometimes I play with toys I really like.
Other children like toys too.
When I am playing with something, another child might want a turn.
Taking turns means letting someone else play for a little while.
If I feel upset about sharing, that is okay. Big feelings happen.
When it is time to share, I can:
- Take a deep breath
- Say, “You can have a turn.”
- Ask, “Can I have it back when you’re done?”
- Use a timer to help us switch
When we take turns, everyone gets a chance.
Sharing helps my friends feel happy.
I am learning how to share. It gets easier with practice.
Why Social Narratives Work for Sharing
A structured social narrative works because it aligns with how children process information.
1. It Makes Expectations Concrete
Sharing is abstract. A social script spells out what is happening and what to do.
2. It Validates Feelings
Instead of “Just share,” the narrative acknowledges frustration and disappointment.
3. It Teaches Replacement Language
Children need explicit phrases modeled:
- “Can I have a turn next?”
- “I’m still using this.”
- “Let’s use a timer.”
4. It Builds Early Empathy
Explaining how others feel supports developing perspective-taking skills.
5. It Reduces Power Struggles
When used proactively — not during conflict — a social script feels like preparation rather than correction.
How to Personalize a Social Script
For best results:
- Use your child’s name
- Add photos of real toys and real play spaces
- Keep sentences short and concrete
- Practice turn-taking when everyone is calm
- Role-play both sides of the interaction
If sharing struggles happen mostly at preschool, daycare, or during sibling play, tailor the narrative to those specific settings.
When Sharing Challenges Continue
Persistent difficulty with sharing may indicate underlying needs such as:
- Limited emotional vocabulary
- Pragmatic language delays
- Executive functioning challenges
- Sensory regulation differences
A speech-language pathologist, occupational therapist, or behavioral specialist can help assess and support these skills.
A Note on Social Stories™
The structured social narrative format used here is inspired by approaches such as Social Stories™, originally developed by Carol Gray. This article focuses broadly on the use of social scripts and narrative-based teaching tools for skill development.
Final Thoughts
Sharing is a developmental milestone, not a character test.
Children who struggle with turn-taking are not selfish — they are learning emotional regulation, language, and flexibility. A clear, supportive social script helps children understand what to do instead of simply being told what not to do.
With repetition, modeling, and patience, sharing becomes more predictable — and more successful.
Alternative Social Script Examples
explore our guides on sharing and turn-taking, gentle hands and managing hitting, bath time routines, hair washing, and other everyday self-care skills. Each script follows the same calm, structured approach—helping children understand expectations, practice replacement language, and build emotional regulation across home, school, and community settings.
- Social Narrative for Bath Time and Showering
- Social Script for Hitting and Gentle Hands
- Social Narrative for Hair Washing
- Social Stories Frequently Asked Questions
Trademark Disclaimer
This website is an independent educational resource and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by Carol Gray or The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding. “Social Stories™” and “Social Story™” are trademarks of Carol Gray. Any reference is for educational and informational purposes only.
